Cauliflower in the Attic or Ham and Cauliflower Soup

Ham and Cauliflower Soup

The Tragic Story of a Cauliflower and His Friends

Ok Boys and Girls, it's time to gather round. Have a seat and let me tell you a tale about a friend of mine. His name is Oleracia. In his early years, he started out as the wild kid on the block. He hung out with his friends on the streets showing up all times of day and night. No body ever really paid him much attention. They let him wander around, popping up in fields and forests. One day, a kind man from Arabia took him in. He was a botanist and so he spent a lot of time out in the street himself, taking in the wild kids and helping them out so they could live in society without being ignored. Oleracia was a special kid from the start. He started out all leafy and wild. He looked a lot like his best friend, Borecole. They were friends...some people even think they were distant cousins.
The kind Arab botanist trained Oler and refined him. He sent him to school every day until he was known as the brainy kid on the street. He was quite the gentleman and everyone wanted to be his friend. He traveled to Cyprus and stayed there for a very long time. He enjoyed his days by the sea, watching the fisherman. He was pickled often, hanging out with his friends for their family dinners and festivals.
After a while, people began to talk and word spread about this brain child that had almost arrived out of nowhere. He was interesting and now almost refined enough to travel to France. In fact, the French royalty took a chance and sent for him to visit their courts. Oler was honored and made the long trip north. The weather was slightly different than he was used to. The people were much different too. They ate differently than he had been used to. Everyone was very refined the meals were hearty and heavy and included many meats, muscles and organs with many heavy sauces. They allowed him to accompany the meals since he resembled a dish they served often, sweetbreads.
Eventually he made his way around the world. He played a part in dinners and lunches in countless homes and cultures.
 One day he decided to settle down. This is where our sad tale begins.
Oler had made friends with Smithfield or Smitty for short, a common guy that loved to be the center of attention and Tilamook a kid from Oregon with a sharp tongue. They hung out together frequently as their personalities melded well. They were inseparable.
One late night, while Smitty and Tilamook had fallen asleep at a local warehouse, (a place they hung out often) Oler was taken. They awoke to find him missing. There were no clues left behind so they began to search. They talked to the warehouse manager and one of them remembered someone coming in asking about Oler. He thought maybe they left together.
Smitty and Tilamook set out looking for the slightest clue as to who left with Oler. They didn't have far to go before they noticed a few of his leaves scattered here and there. It seemed Oler left pieces of himself along the way so his friends would be able to easily find him. They quickly followed the greenery until it led to an old house. This must be where their friend had gone. They found their way into the house through an old milk shoot and began to quietly look around. It seemed like just any other ordinary home. It was quiet and from what they could tell, empty.
"Oler!!!!!" Tilamook shouted as loudly as he could. Smitty quickly hit him, knocking him to the floor.
"We can't risk being found out. We have no idea what's going on here. There's a possibility we all could be in danger! Besides, I should be the one on the front lines; I am the best choice. You feel a little heat and begin to melt. I can take the heat!" and then whispered "and besides, Oler likes me better."
"Hey guys!!!!" a whisper could be heard coming from down the hallway. "It's me, Oler..."

They ran down the hallway and looked up. There was Oler peeking out of an attic door.
"Hey guys, I'm coming down. I've been locked in this attic for days!"
He had an old scarf that he had tied to something up in the attic.
"You've only been gone since last night, Oler! Quit being so dramatic. We couldn't even file a police report yet." Tilamook stated.

So they watched as Oler slowly made his way down.

"Oler, jump! I'll catch you" Smitty whispered.

Oler jumped down to his friends. They were reunited once again.
"Oler, we have to get out of here!"
You're telling me! I wasn't able to see what was going on. One minute, I was sitting on a shelf with you guys and next thing I knew I was in a bag and then up in the attic.  I feel like I've lost all of my color."
"You do look a little pale."
"Oh, and she kept taking my leaves on the way here."

"Oler, what did you just say?"

"The lady who took me kept taking leaves and stems from me. I have no clue what she was doing with them."

A sense of panic spread through Smitty and Tilamook.

"We need to get out of here fast!"

But this is where the tale ends...

They turned to run but alas, our friends met with their demise.

They turned to run, but there she was. She swept them up into her arms and made soup.

Apparently it was her plan all along to use all 3 of them for dinner.

 

Warning!!!! The following pictures are graphic. They contain violent images from the making of the soup. Parental guidance is recommended.

 

 

 

Apparently the soup maker used :

1 head of cauliflower, chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 ham steak, sautéed and chopped

1 block of freshly shredded cheddar

1 1/2 cups half and half

1 quart chicken stock

2 bay leaves

2 Tbsp butter

2 Tbsp flour

 

She started out melting butter and olive oil and sautéing the onion in it.

She then added  Oler  the cauliflower and sprinkled with flour.

(As an alternative, she has also steamed the cauliflower on the side and added to soup later on to preserve some nutrients.)

She let the flour cook for a few minutes, then slowly add the half and half.

She then added the bay leaves and the chicken stock slowly, and then Smitty...I mean the ham.

She let everyone come to a simmer and covered for about 15 minutes.

Once Oler, the cauliflower had softened and the soup had thickened, she removed the soup from the heat and stirred in the shredded Tilamook, cheddar.

She could have used her immersion blender to puree part of the soup, to thicken it even more but she liked her soup on the chunky side. (and our friends had been through enough.)

So, now, our friends were served for dinner....

Eat well, my friends!

 

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